• Home
  • ask a stormtrooper!
  • Archive
  • Mobile
  • RSS

TK9415

Photo
February 03, 2013
9 notes

Tags: darth maul star wars the clone wars drugs sith cocaine spice

Photo
September 28, 2012
40 notes

(Source: fuckyeahlucasfilm)

Tags: the clone wars c3po r2d2 best friends star wars anthony daniels starwars droids droid vote occupy

Photo
August 21, 2012
93 notes
Clone Trooper Boil Helmet!!

Clone Trooper Boil Helmet!!

Tags: clone wars clone trooper boil waxer star wars the clone wars starwars stormtrooper lunch box Star Wars Celebration CVI celebration vi orlando florida 501st Legion

Photo
May 09, 2012
24 notes

Tags: TCW the clone wars clone wars star wars starwars clone trooper clonetroopers hardcase stormtroopers

Photo
March 10, 2012
98 notes

Tags: darth maul the clone wars clone wars star wars sith darth sam witwer

Photo
February 17, 2012
41 notes
Captain Rex

Captain Rex

Tags: The Clone Wars captain rex star wars clonetrooper

Photo
February 17, 2012
19 notes
Arf Trooper

Arf Trooper

Tags: the clone wars ARF TROOPER Clonetrooper stormtrooper star wars

Video
February 17, 2012
14 notes

Maul = Witwer

Tags: the clone wars darth maul sam witwer star wars clonetroopers Savage Opress darth

Photo
January 09, 2012
40 notes
Commander Wolffe

Commander Wolffe

Tags: wolffe the clone wars star wars clone wars stormtrooper clonetrooper storm troopers clone troopers 501st

Next »

About

portrait

can't just be a TK..

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing rebels. I have been known to remodel space stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Old Republic refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo Twi'lek women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot Tie Fighters through severe asteroid belts with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Parsec Brownies in twenty Parsecs. I am an expert in Dewbacks, a veteran in love, and an outlaw on Vulcan.

Using only an E-11 and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Jundland Wastes from a horde of ferocious Tuskens. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Imperials, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard.

I enjoy urban Bantha surfing. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair moisture vaporators free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a comet analyst, and ruthless toward Wookies. Critics all over the galaxy swoon over my original line of Imperial evening wear. I don't perspire. I am an enlisted trooper, yet I receive fan mail. Last summer I toured Alderaan with a travelling centrifugal-force demonstration. Then I blew it up. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in galactiv botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl thermal detonators at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire ISD Bridge that evening. I know the exact location of every rebel base in this system. I have performed several covert operations for the Emperor. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in at attention. While on vacation in Coruscant, I successfully negotiated with a group of rebels who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a hyper drive. I breed prize winning Rancors. I have won gladiatorial games on Geonosis, cliff-diving competitions on Naboo, and spelling bees on the Deathstar. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Moff.

Latest Tweets

Follow me

Powered by Tumblr. Minimal Theme designed by Artur Kim.